Diaries of A Supermom

Nikki's Quotable Quotes 3: "Magbabago na ako."

2007-11-04T18:03:00.000+08:00

Today, Nikki has quipped another amusing line. I was turning on the dvd player to watch some Brad Pitt movie this morning while having breakfast. Nikki was her usual likot self, when she sat by my mom, who was earlier telling her to behave (you know how 3-yr olds are!) and said:

Nikki: Nay, sorry na.
Nanay: Hmp, mamaya ulitin mo na naman..
Nikki: Magbabago na ako.

I laughed hard because I didn't see that coming. Nanay laughed too of course. :D

Feast One Hundred & Sixty Six

2007-10-27T09:40:00.000+08:00

Appetizer

Name a great website you would recommend to others.
For the mom in me, I would recommend www.babycenter.com.

Soup

On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 as highest), how often do you dream at night?
7! I always have dreams, even during naps, but half the time, I forget what they were about.

Salad

Did you have a pet as a child? If so, what kind and what was its name?
Nah. I'm not exactly what you will call a pet-lover.

Main Course

If you had the chance to star in a commercial, what would you choose to advertise?
FHM, maybe? Hahaha. Course I was kidding (I darn wish I could!). Seriously, an ad specially for moms.

Dessert

What is your favorite kind of hard candy?

Lollipop!

Want more servings? Click here.

Nikki's Quotable Quotes 2: "Ako na ang Mommy mo!"

2007-10-27T08:58:00.000+08:00

One weekend, when I had my bonding session with Nikki, she surprised me when she said,

"Ako na ang mommy mo, Mommy!"

For whatever reason she said that, I hope it was not because I am an 'absentee' mom these days--which is another story altogether.

Nikki's Quotable Quotes 1: "Hindi ako mataba! Maganda lang!"

2007-05-08T13:21:00.000+08:00

My sister Leng gave me the idea on posting last weekend's most memorable quote I have ever heard in my entire life. And yes, it came from my pumpkin Nikki.

When Leng said, "Nikki, ang taba mo!" ["Nikki, you're so fat!"]

Nikki replied with much conviction, "Hindi ako mataba! Maganda lang!" ["I'm not fat! Just beautiful!"]

My nephew and mom were witnesses to her reply.

Oh well... from whom did she get her genes? Make a wild guess. Haha. XD

* * * * * * * *

Okay, so from now on, I would post unforgettable quips from my biggest little love. Of course, I will always be her no. 1 fan, so things like these should be immortalized ;)

UP Summa Cum Laude just sweet sixteener!

2007-05-08T00:25:00.000+08:00

At an age when I was just about to enter college, this bright girl just finished hers! And yes, she finished with a whopping GWA of 1.099 in BS Physics. (Uhm, can I faint for a few minutes?)

More interesting facts about Mikki here.

Read the complete speech of Mikki entitled Take not the road less traveled in the UP Diliman site. I quote the speech in part:

Do NOT just be strong in your convictions, for strength is not enough.

Instead, DEFY the pressure to lead a comfortable, but middling life. Let us
lead this country from the despair of mediocrity. Let us not seek to do well,
but strive to EXCEL in everything that we do. This, so others will see us as a
nation of brains of the highest quality, not just of brawn that could be had for
cheap.

Take NOT the road less traveled. Rather, MAKE new roads, BLAZE new trails,
FIND new routes to your dreams. Unlike the track-beaters in campus who see where they're going, we may not know how far we can go.

_____________________

Photo taken from UPD site.

THE SENATORIABLES' PROFILES: Start Scrutinizing

2007-05-07T20:36:00.000+08:00

A couple of months ago, I received a document on the 24 Senatoriables from both opposing parties from An. I browsed thru it and found it very helpful.

Today, I received via mail a more comprehensive Senatoriables' profiles from Rowena, and while I was in my regular weekly meeting, I managed to peek into this document (meaning I wasn't listening to our discussion for certain periods! :p ) Lengthy it is, but it listed all senator-wannabes and their backgrounds. A powerful document indeed for those who would like to take their votes seriously (shouldn't we ALL take it seriously?).

Last night, even when i was so sleepy, I managed to watch the "Isang Tanong: The Senatoriables Forum" aired over GMA 7. And boy, you can tell the seasoned officials from those who are jumping into the bandwagon for the first time. I was sorry I missed the first airing, where half of the senatoriables took their turns in the hot seat. Good to know the network posted vids of episode 1.

With just seven days on our countdown to election day, take time to look into the profiles of our candidates. I hope this could help all of us. Click here to find the document.

My next agenda would be to look into the candidates in my little town. While I am kinda disheartened with how the local officials have performed since we transferred there, I knew voting the better candidate would give me a peace of mind.

Vote wisely peeps.

I MISS BLOGGING!

2007-02-28T01:58:00.000+08:00

So what did two months do to me?

I have practically skipped my blogging habits! *sigh*

On the up side, I have some newer things right from my last post (some were better, some not... but my mind says I should recognize the good side of even the seemingly un-better things):

1. I lost around 10 lbs. Uh, not really good coz it means I am more stressed now than two months ago. But hey, that saves me a lot from weight-loss programs, doncha think?

2. Salary increase. Mom taught me to be thankful for even the smallest things. Hehe.

3. Back to school. I missed school so I am really happy to be back. Truthfully, this explains no. 1 as well :D

4. Growing & sweeter-by-the-minute pumpkin. Who else by my chubby-cheeked alter ego? ;-)

There's a lot more to say, but I'll hang on there for now.

Cheers for my homecoming! :D

Feast One Hundred and Twenty Two

2006-12-15T12:12:00.000+08:00

Appetizer
What was your very first job with a paycheck?
As a recruitment staff for KFC. (Trivia: being a KFC employee, I had the luxury of buying my fave KFC Hot & Crispy chicken daily at Php7.00 or $0.14 a piece.)

Soup
Did you ever lose something really important to you?
If there is one, maybe that would be a past relationship. (I really do not mind losing material things--I lost so many personal items already, from celphones, cash to mp3 player!)

Salad
What is the best Christmas present you ever received?
An iPod last year. This year, let's see. I hope it would be closed deals from our new business ;)

Main Course
Tell about a favorite "hang out" place for you and your friends when you were in high school.
For one, I remember hanging out at a place near our school called "Mango Brutus," very near the church, and which offers nice mango smoothies. And since students were prohibited from loitering around the school in their uniforms, some school personnel would chase us away and tell us to go home.

Dessert
Name something that always brings a smile to your face.
Hearing my baby say, "Mommy ko!" (translated as "My Mommy!"). I just love the way she's being so possessive of me. At work, thoughts about my lil pumpkin really make my day.

Click here to join the feast!

Bora Bum in Novem: A Prelude

2006-12-12T23:06:00.000+08:00

I told myself I would blog about my bora escapade soon after. But it's been three weekends since and I haven't written anything! So here's a short write-up to kick it off.

My Self-Discovery

In bora, I found out:

1. I really, really love the beach and am keen on building a beach house when I get rich!
2. I still have what I call sea-phobia. I can swim in swimming pools but too scared in open seas!
3. I can be daring when provoked. Hahaha!
4. I need a loooooooonnnnnngggggggeeeeer vacay!

Watch out, I will post a mini photo-docu of my whole adventure. In the meantime, take a peek into my.... uh, BUTT-erfly tattoo. ;)

Ciao!

ALIBATA: The Artistic Alphabet

2006-12-12T22:33:00.000+08:00

The Rising Of The Ancient Philippines

While in bora, seeing a girl wearing a henna tattoo in alibata characters wowed me. That was after I had my own lower back butterfly tattoo. So I almost wished I had the same, where my pumpkin's name is spelled out! It would look something like this:

I find the alibata very aesthetically appealing. I guess it is because of my love for words, calligraphy, putting art into letters. The strokes are elegantly flowing and artsy, much like Chinese characters. And if you would like to enter into a secret coded communication with your friends, try using these ancient scripts!

MARITESS vs. the SUPERFRIENDS

2006-12-12T21:02:00.000+08:00

I was browsing IE earlier and came across this animation once again.

I do not exactly remember when I first saw this. But it was just now that I was able to read the message board. As I would have expected, this piece of animation elicited a lot of reactions from people--unschooled and educated, rich and poor, Filipinos and foreigners alike. This is a satire about the plight of our fellow Filipinas working in the US as OCWs.

The animation was voiced by Rex Navarrete, a Hawaii-based Filipino who made his mark in American stand-up comedy, and created by Dino Ignacio, currently the creative director MYX.

Click on the post title to view the animation. And don't leave this blog unless you posted a comment, ok?

Feast One Hundred & Twenty One

2006-12-12T11:48:00.000+08:00

Appetizer

Which language would you like to learn and why?

Japanese, French & Italian. I dream of touring around those countries… soon. (Do I hear you say, “Dream on!” ?) lol

Soup

What's the funniest thing you've heard or read so far this week?

Some nice one-liners from Happy Feet.

Salad

Which movie was so bad you couldn't watch the whole thing?

I’m kinda picky with movies, so I watch those that I really like. Can’t remember anything that made me step out of the theater before it actually ends.

Main Course

If there were a holiday in your honor that didn't use your actual name, what would the day be called?
National Sleeping Day. In honor of sleep-deprived people like me.

Dessert

Name one movie which is coming out soon that you would like to see.
Spiderman 3. I so love the trailer.

Click here to enjoy more delectable feasts!

Feast One Hundred & Twenty

2006-12-04T16:16:00.000+08:00

Appetizer
Have you ever flown in a helicopter?
Nope. Looking forward to. I think that would be exciting.

Soup
What color is your warmest coat or jacket?
Black.

Salad
What is your favorite rainy day activity?
Sleeping! And eating something hot.

Main Course
Describe your hands.
Errr, my nails need manicure very badly. I like my nails long and without color. At the most, I put on clear polish. My palms have so many (unruly) lines. I have two moles on my right hand, one on the inside of the index finger and one at the lower left part of my palm.

Dessert
If you could eat only one nut for the rest of your life, what nut would you pick?
Peanut. Make it salted and spicy.

Click here to join the feast!

Feast One Hundred & Nineteen

2006-11-29T12:23:00.000+08:00

Checked last Friday morning and the questions weren't ready. And because I was out in the afternoon and the whole weekend, I wasn't able to post mine. Anyway, better late than never! Come dine with me!

Appetizer
Have you ever changed a flat tire by yourself?
Never!

Soup
Do you have an "innie" or an "outie" belly button?
I was supposed to say "Go figure!" but nah, that would be ridiculous! Anyway, I'm an innie!

Salad
Name a new paint color and describe it.
Mild-and-Wild. A magical combination of black and white, and gold & silver. Quite sums up my personality. Haha!

Main Course
What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Noche Buena & Media Noche. Can't you see? I love to eat! lol! And the family get-togethers & gift-giving that come with the season. ;)

Dessert
If you were a cookie, what kind of cookie would you be, and why?
Crunchy
and fruity (coz i love citrus scents!)
and with a choco filling (i mean, i have a lot more to offer! lol)

I couldn't quite imagine what that would create, but think of it as Cadbury Fruits & Nuts that became a cookie!

Click below for more flavorful servings!

Bored? Let's Play!

2006-11-27T21:55:00.000+08:00

Cool Stuff at BlingJam.com

The Cupcake Revolution

2006-11-20T18:58:00.000+08:00

I am among the first few customers of the bakeshop that boosted the cupcake craze, Cupcakes by Sonja at the Serendra, The Fort.

It was a Monday and we were on our way back to Ortigas from our weekly meeting when one manager said he'll drop by and grab some cupcakes there. He said his wife was at the opening of the store the previous week (Sept. 21, 2006, Thurs) and could not stop buying these mini sugar-boosters eversince. Our supposed-to-be quick dropby resulted to almost an hour of flavorful afternoon cupcake snack.

Aesthetically, that quaint lil store is close to perfect for that homey, inviting feel: striped pink-and-white wallpapers, charming picture frames galore, nice sugary decors all around. It was amazing and ironic that, while the bakeshop has all surrounding stores still under construction, Cupcakes by Sonja was packed with customers. Sonja’s fans may have spread the word by mouth.

Among those that we tried—and we are happy to have chosen the delectable bestsellers—were the Melt-in-your-mouth Flourless Chocolate Cupcake and Berries and Cream. Super.

Prices, you ask? Originally, the cupcakes were priced at Php45-65 apiece during their soft opening, but I got news that their prices now range to as much as Php130. Quite pricey for a piece of cupcake, but it wouldn’t hurt to try, would it?

And oh, for those who love the cakes, a box of these could be a nice Christmas gift idea to your friends.

Cupcakes by Sonja is located at Serendra Piazza, Bonifacio Global City, Taguig. Contact Sonja Ocampo at (632) 856-0308, mobile (63 906) 477 0833, or email cupcakesbysonja@gmail.com.

Thanks to Anton for the pics.

Feast One Hundred and Eighteen

2006-11-17T17:23:00.000+08:00

Appetizer
Do you believe there is intelligent life on other planets?
I sure do. Who knows how vast the universe is? Only God knows! Who have explored planets than those in our galaxy? None yet! Ergo, the possibility of the existence of life other than ours is inevitable.

Soup
What is one thing you said you'd never do, but you eventually did?
That I'll never fall in love with... but I failed. Haha. :)

Salad
Who is the teacher that influenced you the most in school?
Dr. Elvira Zamora of our Operations Management & Management of Innovation classes in grad school. She is exceptional. Stimulates our minds, open to criticism, very consistent, secure and unassuming. I always look forward to attending her classes. Her impact on the way I perceive work and business and organization is just so immense.

Main Course
If you could trade places with anyone for one day, who would it be and why?
I'd like to trade places with my child. A two-year old's mind has so many things in it that an adult may not understand. I'd like to know how she views things and events around her. I'd like to be able to understand her for me to develop a little more patience. ;)

Dessert
What is your favorite dish to prepare?
Shame on me, I'm a bad cook. (I just love to eat!) But I love preparing desserts like refrigerated cakes. I also like to do quick fixes for snacks like pizza. Ho-hum.

For more servings, click here.

Quotes on Queue 2: Madness is Passion

2006-11-14T14:41:00.000+08:00

The only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live,
mad to talk,
mad to be saved,
desirous of everything at the same time,

the ones who never yawn
or say a commonplace thing,

but burn,
burn,
burn,

like fabulous yellow roman candles
exploding like spiders
across the stars...

Jack Kerouac

LSS: Losing Sanity over a Song

2006-11-10T15:50:00.000+08:00

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along...
My Immortal, Evanescence

I am sure you have those days in which a song keeps ringing in your head like crazy. LSS, which stands for Last Song Syndrome, is what they call it.

Last song syndrome

To listen to music before going out of the house, and having the last song you hear before leaving stick in your head all through your journey, and beyond. Is usually accompanied by subconscious humming. This syndrome is particularly dangerous when the song happens to be the most pathetic, crappy, albeit catchy song ever.
Urban Dictionary

Today, there seemed to be an iPod right inside my brain which plays Evanescence's My Immortal. Not that I hate that song. Quite the contrary. It's just that sometimes, LSS can be very irritating specifically when it is a song you swear should not have been composed at all.

I remember one time my LSS was It's All Coming Back to Me Now. Argh! It gives me creeps! Worse, a duo recently did remake of that song. It was the song which I associate to a very uh, memorable experience with my college girlfriends and one hunk of a guy. Don't ask me where we were that time and the reason as to why we were in that place. You wouldn't believe it. XD

Tell me about your worst LSS.

What Kind of Food Are You?

2006-11-09T18:36:00.000+08:00

I am stressed out today, I felt I needed to squeeze in a quiz to let my mind wander off from work even for a few minutes. :)

You Are Mexican Food

Spicy yet dependable. You pull punches, but people still love you.

What Kind of Food Are You?

Now that made me tummy growl... and made me all the more stressed out! :)

Tell me now, what kind of food are you?

High Performance. Delivered by Moms.

2006-11-08T22:57:00.000+08:00

Saw this in our pantry and I made sure I photograph it. The larger text reads:

Working mothers may be the only people who know more about high performance than we do.

accenture High Performance. Delivered.

SAHMs should not fret. Mothers, whether or not they are engaged in professions, are all working. For their families. For their children. For their future. In any or no profession, mothers are always delivering and performing at the highest levels possible.

Wouldn't you agree?

My Big Little Pumpkin

2006-11-08T15:09:00.000+08:00

Here are the latest pics from my little pumpkin. With her plump cheeks and big, round belly, "pumpkin" is just about the apt name for her.

Bad mommy me.

-------------------

After a great lunch out with my friend, Luwee, we passed by a hair accessories store on our way out. I got my pumpkin a nice pair of hair clips! I tried to control myself against buying lots of pieces. XD

She hates wearing anything on her hair. She'd take off ponytails & ribbons and everything which would make her bobbed locks look girlish. I am hoping she'd like to put this on. What do you think? :)

What's in a Name?*

2006-11-07T11:17:00.000+08:00

Got this from Kay. Cool! (But not for the faint-hearted! lol)

flor --
[noun]:

A person who is constantly high

'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

As if that isn't enough, see this:

*Gasps* Can we delete the 'O' instead? :)

_______________

* R-18. Parental Guidance is advised.

A Performance Review for My Boss

2006-11-07T09:12:00.000+08:00

I am among the fortunate professionals on earth who has a boss whom everyone can dream of having. Well, I know that there are lots of good bosses around and I may have sounded too immature and irrational. Yet, I can't help it: I think my boss is *almost* perfect.

For the half-dozen companies that I have been with, I could name only two bosses whom I can rate as exceptional. No, I didn't mean to downplay the other superiors that I had. In fact, I believe that all of us, at the very least have grown professionally from the mentorship of our previous managers. It would be tremendously sad if we did not learn from our boss, however unreasonable we think they are in their leadership or supervisory practices.

My current boss has taught me a lot of things: integrity, trust, developing & sustaining high morale among members, honest feedback, love for work, confidence in your own potentials and a lot lot more. I would say she is the most influential person in my professional life. For the total number of years I have been working, half was spent under her mentorship. Now that I am reading John Maxwell's Becoming a Person of Influence, I must admit I have her in mind all along. I know it would be immensely difficult to follow her steps but I will make sure I remember them.

Given all these, if I were give an upward evaluation, she would receive A+ no less.

Any person whom you can identify as influential to your life? A boss, a colleague, a friend? You might want to share your experiences.

Mentors impact eternity because there is no telling where their influence will stop.
John C. Maxwell

Upside Down

2006-11-06T16:57:00.000+08:00

How time flies.

I still remember my reaction when--watching the thin red strip of that test kit creep up until my eyes welled up with tears for all emotions imaginable!--I confirmed I was having a baby. Now, all twenty kilos of Nikki (yeah, you read that right!) are enough to make my heart heavy with joy and enthusiasm and love. Never mind if I have to carry around all those 44 lbs of a baby around when she gets tired of strolling in the mall. Never mind if I have to answer innocent questions and babbles and words she says which I constantly need to put together in order to make sense. Never mind if we end up messing the table after eating her fave spaghetti and chicken with her bare chubby hands. All I know is that each day with her counts and that is what is important.

You changed my world upside down, my lil girl. It's better that way than living each day without any meaning.

For when a child is born, the mother also is born again.
Gilbert Parker

My Secret Life

2006-11-06T15:37:00.000+08:00

This postcard is so intriguing. Offhand, I am sure it came from a mom. What do you think is the story behind this woman's dilemma? Did she mean having a baby would be suicidal? The mere fact that a new life begun inside her means she herself is living a new life altogether.

Sometimes, I am thinking, "What if I send in my own secret?" If I decide to, my next question would be: "Which among my millions of secrets would I send?"

For PostSecret fans, you'll never know. Maybe you'll chance upon my secret right there one of these days. :)

How To Kiss a Chocolate

2006-10-31T19:37:00.000+08:00

Yes, I love Starbucks' Mocha Frappe but I cannot call myself a Starbucks fanatic. My best cafe remains to be The Chocolate Kiss.

True, The Chocolate Kiss has a limited selection of coffee offerings so in that sense may not be at par with Starbucks. But for the sweet-toothed me, I love Chocolate Kiss for their sumptuous array of cakes and pastries. My all-time faves include Devil's Food Cake & Texas Square Sundae. I still have to try the Choco Chip Cheesecake. Looks so good! I also love their pastas. Another must-try? Chicken ala Kiev. It may seem like a regular dish to most of us, but it is so delish and really marvelous. And when you are lucky to stay beyond dinner, soothing live music (in sax & violin) will entice you all the more to stay, relax a little longer and order more figure-busters.

Chicken ala Kiev

Choco Chip Cheesecake

The Chocolate Kiss was a witness to many of my college hang-out memories (and cutting classes? lol). Thus, ten years later, my college buddies would often pick it as a choice venue for our mini-reunions because we so love the food and ambiance. Now, my MBA-biz partner friends identified it as our perfect business meeting spot every week. Yey! How lucky can you get!

Just in case you would want to try it out (I haven't tried out the Roces outlet so that's a perfect branch to visit), I am willing to take you there as long as I get a free Devil's Food Cake!

My Christmas Resolution

2006-10-30T18:11:00.000+08:00

As I alight from the elevator into my office floor this morning, guess what graciously greeted me? Two lovely Christmas trees yanked at opposite corners of our floor lobby. Yikes! Christmas is almost here!

Just when I was about to list down and add as sidebar entries my Christmas Wishlist this year, those decors have somehow put a pressure on me. For one, I need to prep up and plan for my Christmas giftlist. Last year, I remember putting up my list and nearly, only nearly, followed my list to the letter. However, as usual, I found myself caught in the holiday rush. Having been tooooooooo busy with the project's Christmas party preps that was scheduled on December 23 (a Friday) and Noche Buena for the people on duty on Christmas Eve, left me with such little time to attend to my Christmas to do's. Thus, I was able to do some last minute shopping on the 24th for my dear little baby, niece and nephews and other family members and pushed the buying of gifts for friends days after Christmas. My excuse? Christmas is still Christmas a day or two or weeks after December 25. Thank God it worked! (lol)

Okay, okay. So that experience actually drives me to adhere to my Christmas 2006 resolution: I should do my shopping earlier! I hope to complete my list in a week or two and finish shopping by the end of November, or first week of December at the latest. I am not a big fan of Divisoria (I was lost in the midst of crazy Divisoria five years ago!) simply because there are good alternatives around. I am thinking of coming to Clark for the good buys that my sister mentioned.

And to put extreme pressure on myself, I found a good Christmas Countdown banner! Look at the bottom of my page for a sample and link.

Of course, of course, Christmas is not about gifts nor new clothes. We are all grown up to realize that. However, there is such a heart-warming feeling to be able to give (in whatever form or amount) to your loved ones, don't you agree? One of the best gifts you can give is something you made out of your own crafty hands.

Finally, for those who won't make it to my list, I am ready to give warm hugs and kisses!

Feast One Hundred & Seventeen

2006-10-27T15:22:00.000+08:00

Appetizer
Create a new candle scent.
Chocolate Mint, or a combination of Strawberry, Honey & Mint

Soup
Name one way you show affection to others.
I create poems for my friends--I do now mostly for my lil one.

Salad
What is your favorite writing instrument?
I used to love sign pens (blot-free please) especially when I do calligraphy.

Main Course
If you were given $25 to spend anywhere online, from which site would you buy?
Amazon.com or eBay for baby items or books ;)

Dessert
Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what are you going to be?
Er, no, but just in case I would, I'd love to be in a Half Angel/Half Devil costume--a halo + devil's tail + angel's wings + pitchfork!

For more servings, come & visit Friday's Feast.

Love Thursday: Waking Up to Someone You Love

2006-10-26T11:19:00.000+08:00

Who wouldn't love to wake up to a little girl's precious smile, chinky eyes and chubby cheeks? You wouldn't want to close your eyes again.

Spread the love every Thursday.

Sisig, Calamares and Mary Magdalene

2006-10-25T23:41:00.000+08:00

Mary Magdalene at the foot of the cross

Me playing the role of Mary Magdalene on stage? Quite unthinkable!

I don’t know how it started but my guy friends toyed with the idea of me

being considered as Mary Magdalene for their planned local JC Superstar Lenten production next year. I thought it was nothing but a joke. Who would think it was serious? It was discussed over sisig, calamares and bottles of beer!

I haven’t been on stage for eons and haven’t even practiced my, er, vocal prowess (as if I have one!) for many years. Mary Magdalene is a dream role, a thousandfold more challenging than the role of Virgin Mary herself. And I personally find Magdalene’s I Don’t Know How to Love Him extremely haunting.

In any case, I still think these thespian friends of mine were under toxic influence and so were in no way serious at all. Lest they are otherwise, I might need to reconsider, don't you think?

Quotes on Queue 1

2006-10-25T21:07:00.000+08:00

There are two dilemmas that rattle the human skull:

How do you hang on to someone who won't stay?

And how do you get rid of someone who won't go?

The War of the Roses

~ o O o ~

Good to know: Beginning today, I will pick out beautiful quotes from all over and share them with you. This will be the first in my Quotes in Queue. Of course, comments on such are very much welcome.

A Snapshot of My Lil One

2006-10-23T17:22:00.000+08:00

You don't really understand human nature

unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round

will wave at his parents every time around

- and why his parents will always wave back.

~William D. Tammeus

For the first time
I saw you ride the carousel on your own.

It melted my heart seeing you
With such innocent smile
And a chubby little hand waving at me.

Pure bliss it was
That only a child’s heart can fathom
All things so novel and cheerful and colorful.

Heaven it was
For me to see you, my Little One
In that moment.
I shall keep nothing, no single photograph
But a priceless snapshot in my heart
That shall last a million lifetimes.

~ October 22, 2006

Feast One Hundred & Sixteen

2006-10-20T11:53:00.000+08:00

Appetizer

What is your favorite beverage?

Fruit juices, fruit shakes and iced coffee

Soup

Name 3 things that are on your computer desk at home or work.

A rubber stamp bearing my name, Starbucks coaster & a double-sided mirror

Salad

On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being highest), how honest do you think you are?

There’s a portion of me which I still want to keep to myself so I’ll be an 8.

Main Course

If you could change the name of one city in the world, what would you rename it and why?

Paris! I’d name it Parissimo. More classy. ;)

Dessert

What stresses you out? What calms you down?

My stress-inducers: tons of workload coupled with deadly deadlines.

My perfect life ingredients each of which has a calming effect: Nikki, music, chocolate & ice cream!

A Woman and Her (Other) Man

2006-10-18T21:32:00.000+08:00

I find this piece very intriguing. For the sole reason that it reminded me of a few girlfriends. Similar but not quite.

Yes, I do have a few married girlfriends who confided they have had another man at one point in their life, with one of them still on it. I would understand if some would raise eyebrows and say I am tolerating my friends’ illicit endeavors. Hear the story of Lara* first.

Lara* has a very promising career in a field dominated by men. She is married to Marco*, and they have a yound child. He is very responsible, sweet & intelligent, he himself has a thriving career and loves his family so much. She came to me one night to divulge one well kept secret—that she is seeing another man. I was surprised because, all along I thought everything was going smoothly in her married life. To a certain extent, it IS going smoothly. Thus, she doesn’t know how and why her affair started. She started seeing Luis* early this year and they hit it off, but they have been colleagues for a little less thaan 10 years now. Luis, by the way, is a separated man.

I prefer not to unveil more details because of the risks. The night she revealed herself to me marked the beginning of a very intimate friendship. Over time, in our talks, we were able to identify the crux of her situation. She has become more open and more in touch with her feelings, at certain times crying before me when situations go bad, or when she realizes how she has been undeserving of her husband Marco’s love. One thing she is sure of: while she knew she loves Luis more than Marco (you read that right), she could not afford to leave him and their child just to be with Luis. Right now, they are still together, Lara with husband Marco, and Lara with the other man, Luis, but their relationship was not as intense as before.

I learned that the last thing that you could offer another woman with the same predicament is this: prejudice. The hard part is that it is easier said than done. Women like Lara do not exactly need an advice; my contention is that, mature as they are, they know what to do and when to do it. The best I did for them was to accept and understand them, playing the devil’s advocate when needed.

* not their real names

~ oOo ~

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. ~Henny Youngman

Love Life

2006-10-17T21:25:00.000+08:00

Taken from Capones Island, off Pundakit coast in Zambales (May 2005).

develop interest in life as you see it;
in people,
things,
literature,
music -

the world
is so rich,
simply throbbing
with rich treasures,
beautiful souls
and
interesting people.

forget yourself.

~ henry miller

This Baby is Not Yours

2006-10-10T19:59:00.000+08:00

This postcard from PostSecret convicted me! Or should I say, it is because I am partly guilty?

My life has been an open book to many who came in and out of (not to mention those who stayed in) my life. In fact, I have retold my story here. But no, I never denied who the father of my child was. What moved me here is the fact that I may be guilty of forbidding her to experience a few special moments with her father.

Am I being selfish? Is there a tinge of guilt within me?

Feast One Hundred & Fourteen

2006-10-06T22:18:00.000+08:00

Appetizer

Name a song you know by heart.

"Get Here" - I can sing it over and over again.

Soup

What will you absolutely not do in front of another person?

Uhm... pick my nose. Or scratch my privates. Eek.

Salad

How often do you use mouthwash and what kind do you like?

I don't really use one, but am planning to buy one soon. I'd love to have Listerine.

Main Course

Finish this sentence: I am embarrassed when...

I sing out of tune in front of people, which happens when I'm tipsy. lol

Dessert

What was the last food you craved?

Ice cream! I always crave for ice cream... yum.

Second Chance? Part 3

2006-09-18T21:07:00.000+08:00

The turning point

One morning, in between sobs, I heard knocks from our room. Nanay, his mom, entered the room.

O Neng* bakit ka umiiyak?

In between sobs, too, I told her how it feels to wait up for someone who isn’t coming home. She assured me she would talk to him. She advised me to stop crying because, “nakakasama yan sa bata.”

But I couldn’t help it. For the nights that followed, I would be lucky if there was a night that I would not cry. If by chance I did not cry, I would wake up at 3am, wait up for no one then fall back to sleep with a heavy heart.

One night, he went home. Nanay and I was sitting by the porch when he came and muttered not a single word. He did not even look at me, not even a single moment. As if I was inexistent. Nanay followed him inside. I sensed he came to get a few necessary items and left immediately. I looked at him as he walked away.

A week later, I decided I’m fed up. In between tears, I packed half of my clothes into one bag and left. Nanay was adamant. She didn’t want me to leave. But I stood firm and said I could no longer handle this. I left just a few minutes before midnight, oblivious of the dangers that a confused, pregnant woman like me could face at a suburban, dimly lit area.

A couple of weeks later, I came back. I had small chat with Nanay. She told me Mike had been going home lately, after I left. I looked around the room, and indeed, there were signs that he had been coming home. Used clothes hung by the wall, his drawers were unruly unlike the last time when I personally fixed his clothes.

I came back, not to stay, but to fetch the rest of my things. Symbolically, leaving half of my clothes in our common drawer meant I had hope in my heart that things could work out. Now that I took all of them, it meant I had stopped hoping.

Last call

Here we are, two and a half years later. He cut my thoughts.

Hindi mo ba ako babatiin?

Babatiin? Bakit? Ano’ng meron?

Kitamo, Nakalimutan mo na. Kinalimutan mo na naman talaga eh.

I remembered the date—today, September 7, is his birthday.

Gusto ko lang naman marinig ulit yung boses mo. Tsaka… ang tagal na nating di nag-usap ng ganito, di ba?

Yeah, I said.

True enough, we never had a serious talk since that fateful day when he asked me to pack my things. So from his perspective, there was no closure. From his perspective, we were not over yet. He held on to a tiny bit of hope on whatever was left of our relationship.

Be… he muttered.

I could not recall the last time he called me "Be," his term of endearment to me. Maybe last New Year when I agreed to show Nikki to him after his long pleadings. I sighed. It didn’t matter to me anymore.

Be… ganito na lang ba tayo? Kuntento ka na ba sa ganyan?

I heaved another sigh.

I never deprived him of his chance to prove himself worthy of being called a dad. When I gave birth to Nikki, I told myself that I’d give him a year to actually prove himself. Alas, a year passed and nothing happened. He was there during her christening, but did not attend her first birthday. During the party, the party host asked me where the celebrant’s dad was, I just shrugged. I wasn't ready for a response. Other than his presence at her baptism, he could pass as an absentee dad.

While it is true that I discourage him from asking me to bring him our child (he would, from time to time, text me asking to see Nikki at an agreed place, just like what happened in New Year), I would always tell him to come and see her at home instead. Since my parents dislike him because of the many, many things that happened and because he is "paternally incapacitated" (I am sure you understand that), he never had the courage to show his face at home. And since I refuse to bring her to him again, he’d be lucky to spend time with Nikki the second time this year. As a result, Nikki does not recognize him. The last time, she would cry unstoppably when he carried her.

Finally, I was able to speak up, in a rather trembling voice.

Ang alam ko kasi, matagal na tayong tapos e. Okay lang sa akin ang ganito. Sinabi ko sa sarili ko na kaya kong mag-isa to. Nagawa ko na yon ng dalawang taon, Mike. Gagawin ko yon hangga’t kaya ko.

I myself was surprised with what I said. But, I know in my heart that it didn't come with far-fetched reasons.

Ah ganon ba…

I could sense intense sadness, hurt and deep regret in his voice.

I’m sorry… I am very, very, very sorry…

He hung up.

I stared at my phone for a few minutes.

I knew prior to his call I was so sleepy. Now, an hour later after that call, sleep has totally eluded me.

--------------------------
*Neng (short for Nineng) is my real nick at home. Nineng (or sometimes, Naneng) is an Ilocano endearment for “little girl.”

Second Chance? Part 2

2006-09-18T15:01:00.000+08:00

Pwede ba tayong magsimula ulit?

The words kept echoing in my mind as I groped for words. I could not help but recall what our relationship's rather uneventful denouement was.

I was about 28 weeks heavy with my baby girl when I finally decided to move out of the apartment Mike and I had been renting. That I did, unmindful of the objections of his mom (who by the way, lived with us in the apartment) and his sister. His sister and her family lived in the next block and had been very open in telling me that she had hoped we will stay together. In truth, his whole family seemed to like me, I guess.

If that’s the case, why did I leave at all? you may wonder.

Back to the future

Mike and I lived together in January of 2004, for reasons I could no longer remember. What I vividly recall is the fact that my parents hate him. Okay, let’s say, they do not want me to get married to him—ever. But then, they did not stop me when, during the weekdays, I stayed at the apartment and spent the weekends in our house. I did not hear anything from my parents. I thought they were content because, at least, they get to see me on a regular basis.

Mike worked for at his tito’s bar/resto back then, and since he works in the evening, and I worked in the daytime, we would only catch each other around 3 am. I would leave the apartment 3 hours later. As you see, we did not have time to talk at all, because even during the weekends, I would go home to my family.

This situation went on for 12 more weeks when suddenly, one weekend, I decided not to go back to the apartment for the meantime.

My office phone rang on a Wednesday night. It was him.

Ba’t di ka umuwi? May problema ba?

Wala naman. Ayoko lang muna.

Bakit nga?

Basta…ayoko muna, ok?

But he refused to give in.

Umuwi ka bukas. Kailangan natin mag-usap.

The next day, I told my boss I will have my check-up so I will be able to report in the afternoon. Before lunch, I went to the apartment and there, I saw him alone in the house, still sleeping.

He woke up as I sat by the bed.

Kumusta ? Anong problema?

I could not speak. I did not know how or where to start. He got impatient after a few minutes of silence.

Hay… hindi ka na naman ba magsasalita?

I felt uncomfortable so I tried to excuse myself.

Punta muna ako sa doktor. Schedule ko kasi ng check-up ngayon. Tsaka nagmamadali kasi ako ngayon.

My OB’s clinic is only twenty or so steps away. But for one reason or another, I didn’t know why I could not stand up and leave.

O kala ko ba, nagmamadali ka?

I told myself, okay, I’ll stay first and talk to him.

I sat closer to him and mustered enough courage to express what has been bottled up for days, or weeks maybe. I told him how I felt about the very little time we have together each week. How I felt about the two of us na parang walang nangyayari. How I felt about our baby not having to bear his name. How I felt about having to deliver our child without a legal union—oh yes, the wedding that never took place. And a few more rantings I could no longer recall.

He told me a few other things but the next few lines hit right smack into a bruised ego:

Umuwi ka na muna sa inyo. Hindi pa ako handa. Dalhin mo na muna mga damit mo.

Ouch.

As if nothing happened, he got up, took his towel and darted towards the door, leaving me stunned, too shocked to even move a limb.

That night, I stayed at the apartment.

And the next night.

Even during weekends.

Little did I know, he had no plans of going home, at least for the next few weeks.

For the nights and weeks that followed, he didn’t show up in the apartment. Instead, he stayed in at the resto, where his tito provided a room for him. Every morning at 3 am, I would wake up, and wait for him. When I finally see the sun peeking through our window, I would cry. I would cry because I know he would never come home again that morning.

Already 26 weeks heavy with my Nikki, I shunned the risks of emotional trauma.

[to be continued]

Second Chance?

2006-09-11T21:10:00.000+08:00

Two similar messages came in last night. it came from a number not listed in my phonebook. And, geez. It came from someone who seems lovestruck.

I responded nonchalantly, sensing that it was from somebody who wanted to play games on me.

cno po 2

He replied with another message...

..."sayang mnahal pa nmn kita."

The messages got me curious but i had an idea who the other person is. Before i could reply to his last message, here came another text. still, the message was overflowing with (alleged) love and longing.

...ako'y isang taong NGMAHAL SAU.

I am not in the mood to play games last night so I keyed in: Ewan.

Alas, the other person wasn’t giving in.

ako ung dting taong ngmahal sau. pwd pb kita mhaling muli?

Normally, i am not rude on similar occasions but this made me impatient and so I texted:

Pwd b deretsuhin mo nlng ako. ma22log n kc ako eh.

To which the other person replied:

ang taray mo nmn. c mike 2 gus2 lng sna kta mkausap.

Mike. So i was right. It was him after all.

Mike is Nikki's dad. We haven't met since new year when he begged to see my baby. I half-heartedly obliged back then, because I thought, New Year naman eh. pagbigyan ko na. So we met at a McDonald's store somewhere.

The last time he texted was June, a week before Nikki's 2nd birthday. I thought he texted to greet her in advance, but no. He was asking a favor which I could not give in to.

It actually took me a couple of minutes to collect my thoughts. To me, he was always like that, barging into my rather calm, quiescent world like a thief. Oh, you might say that was too uncouth for a lady. Of course, I respect him, him being the daddy of my darling little Nikki. And I always told myself, no matter what, I would teach my child to respect and love him despite our past. I will carry that vow in my heart. I wouldn't let her harbor hatred and resentment in her heart against her dad.

I realized that he was already on the other line:

O ba’t ayaw mo magsalita?

Eh di ba ikaw ang gustong kumausap sa akin?

Galit ka pa rin, eh…

Hindi ako galit. Sinabi ko naman diba na matutulog na ako.

The next few lines were some sort of updates from him. I didn’t tell him much updates about myself—I told him a few things about Nikki, like she being able to speak now and had in fact become really chubby. I was surprised when he said, Oo, alam ko.

He then told me that he was lurking around the periphery of our house the previous week. From inside a car, he was watching Nikki who at that time was outside the house with Nanay & Tatay. He did not get off because he knew World War III would break out once my parents see him. He was content watching his child from afar.

He then asked me:

Pa’no ba magsimula muli?

I did not respond. But he pushed the issue further.

Pwede ba tayong magsimula ulit?

Hmm… now this is some sort of a déjà vu.

[to be continued]

Last Touch

2006-08-30T22:34:00.000+08:00

“Ate ingat. Mag-online ka palagi ha.”

“Oo, everyday basta pag may free time ako. Delayed nga ang flight namin eh… eleven pa. gutom at antok na nga ako eh.”

“Oo nga daw. Tulog ka na lang sa flight.”

~ o O o ~

No, this one was not a “real” conversation. This was my last text exchange with Ate this morning.

I feel sad somehow. I feel sad and lonely because I wasn’t able to say good bye to her. I wasn’t able to catch her last night because i had difficulty getting a ride home. Nagkasalisi na kami sa daan.

Thus, no hug, no kiss. No last touch. No nothing.

Even when Ate and I barely see each other during weekdays (she leaves early and arrives home early; while I stay up late, wake up late and arrive home very late), that doesn’t mean we have no sisterly bond. It is there and we know it.

While I know we can get to chat as often, somehow, it still feels rather different. There is but an unexplainable void.

I look forward to chatting with her soon. Then, maybe then, this feeling of inner abyss will fade away.

~ o O o ~

Q: have you had any similar experience where you had no chance of saying goodbye to a loved one?

Separation Anxiety

2006-08-30T21:11:00.000+08:00

At this very hour, Ate is on board a plane heading towards a place she has never been to. And a culture she only knew thru my brother and father’s stories.

Today, Ate begins a new life in a strange place, and shall continue to work there for a couple of years. she joins thousands of kababayans there, hoping to pocket in a little more hope for her kid’s future.

I remember one of my last few conversations with her.

“May flyback ka ba?”
“Oo,” she said, “after eleven months.”
“Ahh..”

I counted when that would be.

“Ah so sa August andito ka?”
“Oo, hopefully sa birthday ni Gelo.”
“Oo nga no. Paid leave bay un?”
“Oo no. 45 days yun.”
“Wow, one and a half months.”

Gelo is her 6-year old son.

Ate so wanted to save up for herself and Gelo. Who wouldn’t? Uhm, maybe I forgot to tell you, my sister is also a single mom. With her steady but nonetheless very little income as an accounting staff in our old school, working abroad becomes a very attractive option.

I still do not know how she bid goodbye to Gelo last night (I didn’t join them at the airport coz Nikki needs me by her side). For someone who barely knew his dad, Gelo is too clingy to his mom. I really cannot decipher what is going on in his mind right now. Even at his age, he cries when he wakes up and finds that his Mama left for work already (my sis leaves our house at 5 in the morning) while he was still asleep. At those times, he would cry himself to sleep again.

Five months ago, I faced the same situation of (almost) leaving the country and working abroad for the same reason. You will understand my story here. Yet, maybe mine wasn’t perfect timing back then.

I looked at Gelo before I left for work today. He was asleep, catching up on sleep because he, Nanay and Kuya accompanied Ate to the airport, left the house at a quarter before midnight last night and arrived five hours later. Albeit he was in deep slumber, I could sense the sadness. I could sense a little confusion. I could sense longing building up on him.

I know Ate packed in a lot of determination, patience, love and sacrifice with her in her baggage. Yet, it all boils down to one thing: for a parent, no amount of sacrifice is too intense to handle if only for our child’s future.

~ o O o ~

Q: how willing are you to sacrifice time away from your child, just so he can have the future you long for him?

Word War Too!

2006-08-29T17:15:00.000+08:00

i was an addict.

to be more precise, i was a Scrabble addict. when i was a kid, many times i would beat my siblings and other people who wanted to play with me.

well, in truth, i am amused with word games and puzzles, being hooked before on the Word Power section in Reader's Digest, and even Hangaroo, Text Twist and about half a dozen other educational games. i remember i even answered simple Mensa tests! my course also exposed me to a lot of graphical and visual illusions like Magic Eye.

i can attest that these word [and mind] games were very instrumental in widening my vocabulary as a child. at many instances, i have to look into the dictionary to see whether this terms exists or such is the correct spelling of that certain word (cheat!). often, i was surprised of the new word or words i get to learn after one game.

with the dawn of computer games such as XBox and PlayStation, i wonder if my child would be able to appreciate the good ol' board and word games? further, text lingo is so prevalent (and so convenient, huh?) that we become culprits using it on kids.

while i know that these educational games can now be accessed via the internet, i think what is more important is the value of encouraging one's child to enhance her vocabulary as much as possible. even when a child has the potentials, the absence of a nurturing environment, along with an adult passionate enough to teach and guide her, can hamper her development. the impact of this will be revealed later on in the child's life. early on, i want to teach my Nikki as many words as she can handle. at this stage, she picks up so many words so easily, even the bad ones.

in the meantime, let's see how your name would fare in this. follow the link below and find out your name score! also, what word can you create with the 7 letters above? it's so easy!

Q: what word games did you play as a child? any tips for the moms on how you enhance or plan to enhance your kid's vocabulary?

Walang Hanggang Paalam

2006-08-27T12:33:00.000+08:00

this is perhaps one of the sweetest tagalog songs i know. in fact, i know it by heart. weird, you may say, because this was written and sung by Joey Ayala, who is known for his ethnic music.

my Joey Ayala influence actually came from my brother. when i was in high school, i used to listen to his music and some of them are actually soothing. i even memorized most, if not all, of them. and this one for me is the most endearing of all.

i used to imagine that this is a love song. now, reading between the lines especially the chorus part, i could very well sing it to my little one.

what do you think of this song? isn't it beautiful? wait til you actually hear it--it is very melodramatic.

-----------------------------------
di ba tayo’y narito
upang maging malaya
at upang palayain ang iba
ako’y walang hinihiling
Ika’y tila ganoon din
sadya’y bigyang-laya ang isa’t-isa

*
ang pagibig natin ay
walang hanggang paalam
at habang magkalayo
papalapit pa rin ang puso
kahit na magkahiwalay
tayo ay magkasama
sa magkabilang dulo ng mundo

ang bawat simula ay
siya ring katapusan
may patutunguhan ba
ang ating pagsinta
sa biglang tingin
kita’y walang kinabukasan
subalit di-malupig ang pag-asa

*,*
sa magkabilang dulo ng mundo...
-----------------------------------

thanks, bet for reminding me of this song.

Supermom?

2006-08-25T14:02:00.000+08:00

su·per·mom ['sü-p&r-"mäm] n. an exemplary mother; also : a woman who performs the traditional duties of housekeeping and child-rearing while also having a full-time job

http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/supermom

look at that, just when i thought the word "supermom" exists only in my dictionary.

okay, so let's settle down. why did i choose "supermom" anyway?

here goes:
1. i am a [single] mom.
2. i have a full time job.
3. i study.

doing these all at the same time drives me crazy at times but fulfillment is a word i can understate at the moment.

should i hear "cheers" to my new blog?