Separation Anxiety
At this very hour, Ate is on board a plane heading towards a place she has never been to. And a culture she only knew thru my brother and father’s stories.
Today, Ate begins a new life in a strange place, and shall continue to work there for a couple of years. she joins thousands of kababayans there, hoping to pocket in a little more hope for her kid’s future.
I remember one of my last few conversations with her.
“May flyback ka ba?”
“Oo,” she said, “after eleven months.”
“Ahh..”
I counted when that would be.
“Ah so sa August andito ka?”
“Oo, hopefully sa birthday ni Gelo.”
“Oo nga no. Paid leave bay un?”
“Oo no. 45 days yun.”
“Wow, one and a half months.”
Gelo is her 6-year old son.
Ate so wanted to save up for herself and Gelo. Who wouldn’t? Uhm, maybe I forgot to tell you, my sister is also a single mom. With her steady but nonetheless very little income as an accounting staff in our old school, working abroad becomes a very attractive option.
I still do not know how she bid goodbye to Gelo last night (I didn’t join them at the airport coz Nikki needs me by her side). For someone who barely knew his dad, Gelo is too clingy to his mom. I really cannot decipher what is going on in his mind right now. Even at his age, he cries when he wakes up and finds that his Mama left for work already (my sis leaves our house at 5 in the morning) while he was still asleep. At those times, he would cry himself to sleep again.
Five months ago, I faced the same situation of (almost) leaving the country and working abroad for the same reason. You will understand my story here. Yet, maybe mine wasn’t perfect timing back then.
I looked at Gelo before I left for work today. He was asleep, catching up on sleep because he, Nanay and Kuya accompanied Ate to the airport, left the house at a quarter before midnight last night and arrived five hours later. Albeit he was in deep slumber, I could sense the sadness. I could sense a little confusion. I could sense longing building up on him.
I know Ate packed in a lot of determination, patience, love and sacrifice with her in her baggage. Yet, it all boils down to one thing: for a parent, no amount of sacrifice is too intense to handle if only for our child’s future.
~ o O o ~
Today, Ate begins a new life in a strange place, and shall continue to work there for a couple of years. she joins thousands of kababayans there, hoping to pocket in a little more hope for her kid’s future.
I remember one of my last few conversations with her.
“May flyback ka ba?”
“Oo,” she said, “after eleven months.”
“Ahh..”
I counted when that would be.
“Ah so sa August andito ka?”
“Oo, hopefully sa birthday ni Gelo.”
“Oo nga no. Paid leave bay un?”
“Oo no. 45 days yun.”
“Wow, one and a half months.”
Gelo is her 6-year old son.
Ate so wanted to save up for herself and Gelo. Who wouldn’t? Uhm, maybe I forgot to tell you, my sister is also a single mom. With her steady but nonetheless very little income as an accounting staff in our old school, working abroad becomes a very attractive option.
I still do not know how she bid goodbye to Gelo last night (I didn’t join them at the airport coz Nikki needs me by her side). For someone who barely knew his dad, Gelo is too clingy to his mom. I really cannot decipher what is going on in his mind right now. Even at his age, he cries when he wakes up and finds that his Mama left for work already (my sis leaves our house at 5 in the morning) while he was still asleep. At those times, he would cry himself to sleep again.
Five months ago, I faced the same situation of (almost) leaving the country and working abroad for the same reason. You will understand my story here. Yet, maybe mine wasn’t perfect timing back then.
I looked at Gelo before I left for work today. He was asleep, catching up on sleep because he, Nanay and Kuya accompanied Ate to the airport, left the house at a quarter before midnight last night and arrived five hours later. Albeit he was in deep slumber, I could sense the sadness. I could sense a little confusion. I could sense longing building up on him.
I know Ate packed in a lot of determination, patience, love and sacrifice with her in her baggage. Yet, it all boils down to one thing: for a parent, no amount of sacrifice is too intense to handle if only for our child’s future.
~ o O o ~
Q: how willing are you to sacrifice time away from your child, just so he can have the future you long for him?
posted by ~ flor ~ at
9:11 PM
2 Comments:
Your sister's story is so sad. As in. It's really hard to be away from your child for a long time, all the more so when the reason is working hard to secure your child's future. Ang hirap nga ng buhay, ano? Your sister is very brave for taking the leap.
sad indeed, may.
you know, a few days ago, Gelo asked my mom:
"Nay, ano ba ang tawag sa walang mama tsaka papa?"
To which my mother replied, "Ulila, balong."
(Balong is an Ilocano term of endearment for a young boy.)
Gelo then said, "Nay, ulila na ba ako?"
Of course, my mother had to explain once again the situation--that Mama will just work in a faraway place for some time and will be back for him.
Ate's story has two sad sides--hers and Gelo's. But I knew in my heart that it would be for the best. Mahirap talaga ang buhay may, but God will continue to provide for us.
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