Last Touch

“Ate ingat. Mag-online ka palagi ha.”

“Oo, everyday basta pag may free time ako. Delayed nga ang flight namin eh… eleven pa. gutom at antok na nga ako eh.”

“Oo nga daw. Tulog ka na lang sa flight.”

~ o O o ~

No, this one was not a “real” conversation. This was my last text exchange with Ate this morning.

I feel sad somehow. I feel sad and lonely because I wasn’t able to say good bye to her. I wasn’t able to catch her last night because i had difficulty getting a ride home. Nagkasalisi na kami sa daan.

Thus, no hug, no kiss. No last touch. No nothing.

Even when Ate and I barely see each other during weekdays (she leaves early and arrives home early; while I stay up late, wake up late and arrive home very late), that doesn’t mean we have no sisterly bond. It is there and we know it.

While I know we can get to chat as often, somehow, it still feels rather different. There is but an unexplainable void.

I look forward to chatting with her soon. Then, maybe then, this feeling of inner abyss will fade away.

~ o O o ~

Q: have you had any similar experience where you had no chance of saying goodbye to a loved one?

Separation Anxiety

At this very hour, Ate is on board a plane heading towards a place she has never been to. And a culture she only knew thru my brother and father’s stories.

Today, Ate begins a new life in a strange place, and shall continue to work there for a couple of years. she joins thousands of kababayans there, hoping to pocket in a little more hope for her kid’s future.

I remember one of my last few conversations with her.

“May flyback ka ba?”
“Oo,” she said, “after eleven months.”
“Ahh..”

I counted when that would be.

“Ah so sa August andito ka?”
“Oo, hopefully sa birthday ni Gelo.”
“Oo nga no. Paid leave bay un?”
“Oo no. 45 days yun.”
“Wow, one and a half months.”

Gelo is her 6-year old son.

Ate so wanted to save up for herself and Gelo. Who wouldn’t? Uhm, maybe I forgot to tell you, my sister is also a single mom. With her steady but nonetheless very little income as an accounting staff in our old school, working abroad becomes a very attractive option.

I still do not know how she bid goodbye to Gelo last night (I didn’t join them at the airport coz Nikki needs me by her side). For someone who barely knew his dad, Gelo is too clingy to his mom. I really cannot decipher what is going on in his mind right now. Even at his age, he cries when he wakes up and finds that his Mama left for work already (my sis leaves our house at 5 in the morning) while he was still asleep. At those times, he would cry himself to sleep again.

Five months ago, I faced the same situation of (almost) leaving the country and working abroad for the same reason. You will understand my story here. Yet, maybe mine wasn’t perfect timing back then.

I looked at Gelo before I left for work today. He was asleep, catching up on sleep because he, Nanay and Kuya accompanied Ate to the airport, left the house at a quarter before midnight last night and arrived five hours later. Albeit he was in deep slumber, I could sense the sadness. I could sense a little confusion. I could sense longing building up on him.

I know Ate packed in a lot of determination, patience, love and sacrifice with her in her baggage. Yet, it all boils down to one thing: for a parent, no amount of sacrifice is too intense to handle if only for our child’s future.

~ o O o ~

Q: how willing are you to sacrifice time away from your child, just so he can have the future you long for him?

Word War Too!

i was an addict.

to be more precise, i was a Scrabble addict. when i was a kid, many times i would beat my siblings and other people who wanted to play with me.

well, in truth, i am amused with word games and puzzles, being hooked before on the Word Power section in Reader's Digest, and even Hangaroo, Text Twist and about half a dozen other educational games. i remember i even answered simple Mensa tests! my course also exposed me to a lot of graphical and visual illusions like Magic Eye.

i can attest that these word [and mind] games were very instrumental in widening my vocabulary as a child. at many instances, i have to look into the dictionary to see whether this terms exists or such is the correct spelling of that certain word (cheat!). often, i was surprised of the new word or words i get to learn after one game.

with the dawn of computer games such as XBox and PlayStation, i wonder if my child would be able to appreciate the good ol' board and word games? further, text lingo is so prevalent (and so convenient, huh?) that we become culprits using it on kids.

while i know that these educational games can now be accessed via the internet, i think what is more important is the value of encouraging one's child to enhance her vocabulary as much as possible. even when a child has the potentials, the absence of a nurturing environment, along with an adult passionate enough to teach and guide her, can hamper her development. the impact of this will be revealed later on in the child's life. early on, i want to teach my Nikki as many words as she can handle. at this stage, she picks up so many words so easily, even the bad ones.

in the meantime, let's see how your name would fare in this. follow the link below and find out your name score! also, what word can you create with the 7 letters above? it's so easy!

Pholph's Scrabble Generator My Scrabble© Score is: 23. What is your score? Get it here.

Q: what word games did you play as a child? any tips for the moms on how you enhance or plan to enhance your kid's vocabulary?

Walang Hanggang Paalam

this is perhaps one of the sweetest tagalog songs i know. in fact, i know it by heart. weird, you may say, because this was written and sung by Joey Ayala, who is known for his ethnic music.

my Joey Ayala influence actually came from my brother. when i was in high school, i used to listen to his music and some of them are actually soothing. i even memorized most, if not all, of them. and this one for me is the most endearing of all.

i used to imagine that this is a love song. now, reading between the lines especially the chorus part, i could very well sing it to my little one.

what do you think of this song? isn't it beautiful? wait til you actually hear it--it is very melodramatic.

-----------------------------------
di ba tayo’y narito
upang maging malaya
at upang palayain ang iba
ako’y walang hinihiling
Ika’y tila ganoon din
sadya’y bigyang-laya ang isa’t-isa

*
ang pagibig natin ay
walang hanggang paalam
at habang magkalayo
papalapit pa rin ang puso
kahit na magkahiwalay
tayo ay magkasama
sa magkabilang dulo ng mundo

ang bawat simula ay
siya ring katapusan
may patutunguhan ba
ang ating pagsinta
sa biglang tingin
kita’y walang kinabukasan
subalit di-malupig ang pag-asa

*,*
sa magkabilang dulo ng mundo...
-----------------------------------

thanks, bet for reminding me of this song.

Supermom?

su·per·mom ['sü-p&r-"mäm] n. an exemplary mother; also : a woman who performs the traditional duties of housekeeping and child-rearing while also having a full-time job

http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/supermom


look at that, just when i thought the word "supermom" exists only in my dictionary.

okay, so let's settle down. why did i choose "supermom" anyway?

here goes:
1. i am a [single] mom.
2. i have a full time job.
3. i study.

doing these all at the same time drives me crazy at times but fulfillment is a word i can understate at the moment.

should i hear "cheers" to my new blog?